“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Wrong. Words do hurt, and they’re cutting deeper than ever before.
Cyberbullying today is more serious and harmful than we’ve ever known, according to a new study conducted this year that found cyberbullying should qualify as an adverse childhood experience (a traumatic event that occurs during childhood and can negatively impact a child’s well-being well into adulthood).
The Florida Atlantic University research discovered almost 90% of the 2,697 middle and high school students sample experienced some form of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying accounted for 32% of trauma symptoms among the students.
Researchers also found that more indirect, subtle forms of cyberbullying were just as harmful as threats or identity-based attacks. This means something as small as being purposely excluded from a group chat was triggering for young teens. It's not just nasty comments on a picture anymore. Teens today are smarter, sneakier and meaner.
The study showed there's no single type of cyberbullying that caused more harm than others. So, it’s important for parents to familiarize themselves with all of the dangers lurking online. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines bullying as “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths ... that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated.”
The scientific journal BMC Public Health breaks down cyberbullying into five categories: threats, identity-based cyberbullying, privacy violations, indirect cyberbullying and exclusion. Threats are messages like “I’ll hurt you” or “watch your back.” Identity-based cyberbullying is using slurs or derogatory language about someone’s identity. Privacy violations are actions like doxing or constant unwanted contact. Indirect cyberbullying is spreading false rumors or sharing embarrassing pictures or videos to shame someone. Exclusion applies to purposely leaving someone out of a group chat or publicly excluding them from a social media group.
All these forms have been proven to cause chronic anxiety, depression, trauma symptoms, sleep disturbances and even suicidal ideation. Identity-based cyberbullying, also linked to fat shaming, can lead to serious body image issues and eating disorders among young women.
We all need to treat cyberbullying as a traumatic experience. We cannot dismiss it any longer.
The solution to most problems nowadays is getting ahead of it. Schools need to implement social-emotional learning: teaching empathy and digital citizenship. It's important that kids learn early on that we live in a world that condemns digital cruelty.
We can never fully prevent cyberbullying. So, when a teen comes forward, it needs to be taken seriously. This starts with listening and understanding possibly followed by participation in peer-support groups or counseling. When a teen experiences cyberbullying, he or she needs strong family support and close friendships. It’s important they don’t feel isolated during this time.
Schools, communities and parents must enforce clear disciplinary policies for bullies. There must be real consequences for those responsible.
Words can hurt. It’s time we take cyberbullying seriously and help our children by protecting those who are targeted and holding bullies accountable with real consequences. If we don’t, we risk raising a generation scarred by trauma that could have been prevented.
